Hunky Fossils

Can I squeal?! Just a little?!

Eeeeeeee! Just finished watching Fox and Friends and their guest this morning was John Schneider! I can remember being ten years old and thinking Bo Duke was soooo cute. The way he handled The General Lee and smack-talked with his cousin Luke made all us girls sigh. Using my Chisembop, I estimate he was 25 when Dukes of Hazzard started and now he’s 54. My question is, how does he still look so good? He’s now appearing in “Chicago” on Broadway. Damn, that man is fine.

Several years ago my DearQuads loved the Mulan movie. I thought it was a great story and bought them the DVD. One day they were watching and I was listening to it as I worked in the kitchen. As Shang started to sing about making a man out of me, something started feeling all warm and fuzzy. Like I should know this voice–there was something so familiar and sexy about it. (OK, other moms will be able to understand finding a cartoon character attractive. The rest of you just shut up.) I waited for the credits and laughed to see that the singing was done by Donny Osmond. You bet it was familiar. I spent many an evening watching the Donny and Marie Show. The sight of purple socks makes me smile. Can you believe he’s a grandfather now? And still looking handsome.  (Seems a little dirty to refer to an Osmond as “hot”.)  Donny has a new movie out. He’s in “College Road Trip” which is rated G. I’m excited there’s a movie to take the kids to and I don’t have to explain any double-entendre sexual humor. (Though my boys think it’s high-larious whenever anyone says “balls”.)

Some famous men have not faired as well in the graceful aging department. Don Johnson, Mickey Rourke, and Burt Reynolds are all looking pretty scary. Oh, Bandit, what is up with the hair plugs and tight face? If you’re going bald, just do a Bruce Willis and celebrate the pate. Sean Connery, Dennis Quaid, and Mel Gibson never had to consider botox. The lines just upped their sex appeal.

So why don’t lines and wrinkles make women more attractive? Why don’t we have “character” as our laugh lines show around our eyes? That’s one of the most unfair double standards in life. Scars on guys? Dangerous, sexy. Scars on women? Stretch marks, signs of hard livin’. I say brainwash the next generation while they’re young. When my boys asked what my stretch marks were, I told them that only really beautiful women had those. Hee hee. Their future wives better love me!


One response to “Hunky Fossils

  1. Dude! I totally met John Schneider last summer at a car show!!!

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