Wow, this is awkward. Um, things aren’t working out and I think we should stop seeing each other. No, it’s not you, it’s me. Really. I mean, how I wound up in a group with (mostly) atheist, non-Southern Democrats will remain a mystery of the ages. We could only have less in common if you were all gay and child predators. Don’t get me wrong–I enjoy friendships with all kinds of people. Many of my friends exhibit one or more of the above-mentioned, um, quirks. (Well, except for the child predator thing, I hope.) We just don’t seem to be meant for each other. You all are very nice and I like you a lot. Just not in that way. More like siblings, you know? Like my taste in beer and wine, my taste in books is rather pedestrian. That may be one of the things coming between us: the fact that I skip reading the high-brow tomes and totally get into the trash (um, like the young adult vampire fiction.) You deserve better.
Thanks for being nice but please, don’t try to call or text me. Let’s not make this any harder than it already is, OK? Good luck–I know you’ll find someone else who is the perfect person for you.
Always the best,